Reflections on 2018
I keep waiting for life to settle down, for the days to feel long and the years to feel short, but just like 2016 and 2017 2018 felt momentous. My life now is so different than it was a year ago, both in the day-to-day and the memories I've collected in the last year.
Eli and I moved to Seattle, along with 2 friends. We live in a house! In a different city, and a different state! And TOGETHER! After being long distance for 2 eternities (er, years) I am so happy to get to see my beloved every day - to cook together, and walk the dog, and watch tv, and just be.
We also went to Japan for 3 weeks! The trip was incredible - we stayed in a house with a rotating cast of 12 friends, and had so much fun exploring Tokyo. We loved how navigable the city was, how culturally and structurally different it was from the US, and how big it was. We hope to go back sometime in the near future!
I can't believe this is third on the list of Big Things that happened this year, but we also adopted a dog. Her name is Luna, and she is so dumb but is a great little dog, and brings so much joy and laughter into our lives. She's loving, and excited when we get home, and loves loves loves attention.
- Saw my best friend get married
- Got to go to Amsterdam for work
- Read over 60 books
- Spoke at conferences in Pasadena CA, Salt Lake city UT, Portland OR, Seattle WA, Vancouver BC, and Bellingham WA
Phew. It's been a year. If 2017 was the year of waiting, I'd say 2018 was the year I became an adult. While a lot of these travels and changes are important and have changed who I am, moving in with Eli to a new city and state has made me feel grown-up in a way I hadn't before. Maybe it's because Eli was still in school, or because I still lived close to my parents, but this was the first year I felt truly on my own and at the helm of my life. I got my oil changed! I went to the DMV to get a Washington license! I feed our dog every morning! While my increase in responsibilities is minimal, being able to offer friends the guest room at our house and taking care of Luna have made me feel more adult than I did living alone in my tiny studio. Eli and I have created a small family in a new place, and we've reached a routine and stability that feels mature.
At the beginning of the year I deemed 'fun' my word of 2018. I felt, and still feel, that I'm growing up too fast and not celebrating my youth while I am young. In the day-to-day I still feel like I'm an 80-year-old in a 23-year-old body, but in reflecting on the year I did a lot of really fun things. I got to travel to incredible places, stayed out late to see incredible shows, went to cider fests and trivia nights and music festivals, and spent so much time with my friends. While still panicked about my fleeting youth I also made the most of my free time this year, and found joy in all the things we did and the people we did them with. I have no regrets about how I spent my time, and am enjoying this season of life: working a job I love, living with people I love, and exploring the world.
Looking ahead, I'm excited about what 2019 will bring for us. We're still in a phase of life with a lot of fluctuations, and our plans for next year are uncertain at best. In a way I love this just-in-time planning though - it makes me feel busy and lively and like I can go anywhere at anytime. My phrase for next year is get curious. I feel I've lost my sense of wonder at the world, my desire to know more and to move towards things that scare me. This year, in both work and life, I want to discover new things and develop a greater sense of curiosity for all the wonderful things there are in the world. What does that taste like? How does that work? I want to try to ask more questions, and then go about answering them. With that comes some risk - I think in general I don't ask those questions because I'm afraid of failure. Failure to answer them, failure to do something I've never done because I'll be bad at it. I want to face that fear, and take the risk, and be ok with failing or looking silly or not liking something.
So, about 2 days away from 2019, here's to a fantastic 2018 and an even better 2019! Cheers!